ATL

Body language lessons

Using the right body language is far more important in defusing situations than the words you use. Trainer and author Dave Vizard explains

How often are you faced with a pupil who has an extremely negative attitude and aggressive body language?

Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) can break this cycle of negativity and help to develop rapport. It was developed in the 1970s by psychologist Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder. Education staff can use NLP to successfully manage classroom behaviour as it helps them to understand the pupil, read situations and develop a bond with even the most challenging pupils so that good working relationships can develop.

When working with a pupil who is challenging we need to play the role of detective and observe aspects of their body language, including vocal delivery, posture, gestures and mannerisms. We also need to actively listen to what they are saying so that we can look through their eyes at their unique map of the world. To actively listen we need to sustain appropriate eye contact, saying little, but sometimes paraphrasing what they say. We need to find some common ground or interests (the 'like likes like' theory).

Body language is an important aspect to consider in relation to managing behaviour and developing rapport. More than 93 per cent of communication relates to body language, vocal tone and command, with the rest relating to spoken words. There is often a lack of congruence between what we say and the body language we use. We can talk tough and look weak or vice versa. Sometimes we can use a pleading vocal tone that is unhelpful. We should also avoid displaying over-congruent behaviour where we exaggerate our gestures and facial expressions, which can be seen as being false or insincere.

In the classroom, our body language needs to be open, not closed. Often we use barriers - folded arms or standing behind a table. We need to move into open space away from barriers and use open gestures.

One key way to develop rapport with a pupil is to match or mirror their body language. Matching involves copying another person's body language. If someone is talking, with their left hand touching their chin, to match this we should stand and hold our left hand to our chin. Mirroring body language involves adopting a mirror image - this time if their left hand is on their chin you put your right hand to your chin. The other person sees the image as though they are looking in a mirror and may subconsciously think 'they look like me, therefore I like them.'

Pupils, particularly when they are angry or upset, talk in the language of their sensory preference (visual, auditory or kinaesthetic). Listen to what a pupil says and by matching the language of their sensory preference we can move them to a calmer state, as well as developing rapport. For example, a pupil says "I can't see the point" - "see" suggests a visual sensory preference and so a reply such as "I see what you mean" matches their preference.

Matching gestures (hand movements, head tilts, facial expressions, body shifts and cycle of eye contact), speech (same sentence length, matching descriptive words, similar rhythm and intonation, as well as matching use of silence) and vocal matching (volume pitch and usual sounds) also enable rapport to develop.

By doing synchronised whole-class activities we can build group rapport. This is particularly important with groups that don't gel easily. By using brain breaks (see www.brainbreaks.co.uk for free examples), cooperative learning strategies, truisms and by asking questions that most of the group would give a 'yes' answer to, we can also discover the rapport leaders in a class. These are the pupils we need to focus on to get the group onside. Brain-break activities can also be used to break negative body language in pupils.

Identifying a person's emotional state and trying to establish emotional rapport is important. Making statements to show that you can see their strength of feeling and understand how they feel can be important.

By using NLP techniques we will be able to move pupils away from giving a challenging and negative attitude as their first response. Disraeli reinforced the importance of one key NLP strategy when he said: "The greatest good you can do for someone is not to share your riches but to reveal theirs."

Dave Vizard provides staff development and training on behaviour management and has written Meeting the needs of disaffected students. For more details visit www.behavioursolutions.com